Cannot Say Goodbye

In the first month of a infant's life that small human, just the same as you and me, is learning to interpret the world around them.  The first week they concentrate on relaxing in what they've been shoved into. Their curled arms and legs struggle to stay close and warm, tight and crammed just as they were in the womb, in their home. This baby is only reacting upon instincts and familiarities. Knowing only their mother's voice, they sometimes turn to the soothing sound they know. The baby is also building a stronger relationship with their mother, learning what contact and need is as they breast feed. In the third week of life, we are able to distinguish who is a stranger and who is not, based on sound, touch and some scent. We find who we know, who we don't. Who is a need and who is a want. Building trust. A baby, brand new and in the first month, can see physically, but the brain is not able to interpret what it is seeing. Vision is fuzzy until it is able to build connections to what it is seeing, and nerves are reinforced and strengthened through repetition and then, through exploration cooing and gurgling throaty communication is established.

My first month in St. Augustine was a complete journey. I started out my first few days, shaky and unable to see any familiarity to my old life. I wondered what I was going to do, and contracted my muscles to stay just how I was at home. I spent nights in front of the tv sleeping because I was used to it. I made Mary buy me hand soap instead of a bar to use. I was curled into my old ways, just as an infant in  it's first few days.

After I was able to relax and open my eyes to what was in front of me, I became completely fearless in who I was going to talk to, eat, or even do. I hadn't a clue who I was completely by myself but I was going to find out. I followed what I thought I knew, ate where I thought I'd like and just tried things.

I then found The Hyppo. The Hyppo, while just a four-walled store with many nice people became a relationship I built, through nursing my need for further communication with Thomas, Kim, Molly, Mariah, and especially Sina. These people, just serving up ice pops seemed like the coolest people in the world, and the store began to look a lot like Poppy's Ice Cream store in Lee's Summit, Missouri. I had built a connection, without knowing.

Mary and Pete became what I knew as my comfort and need. While Mary and Pete made it clear I wasn't tied down, they wanted me to keep them informed as to what I was doing, and I loved telling them. I was excited everyday to tell them what I had did and I was up to next. Who I had spoken to as well.  I talked to everyone and anyone, just desperate for their conversation. I think they were guiding me to find who I am. Mary and Pete mean a lot to me, I am so glad I had the chance to get to know them, and bond with them!

I do not think I've changed profoundly or "discovered" anything significant inside myself, but what I have learned is who I want to be.

I woke up early my last day and went to breakfast at the Casa Maya. They had great coffee (nice and strong) and a refreshing little sandwich (yes, Sina, with onions on it!).

Sina must have seen me sitting inside, because he walked over, apron and all, to knock on the window and wave to me. These little things are what make St. Auggy cute and quaint. 

I then walked down Aviles Street and around town.

And then I said goodbye to the Hyppo. Nothing profound was said, nothing dramatic happened. I hugged Thomas and Kim and was out the door after eating my last flavor. Pineapple Cilantro.

Originally I had just kept putting this pop off because of the amounts of cilantro in it. I love cilantro, but the Mouth Grenade really made me think twice about this pop.

The pop was surprisingly one of the best I've had and I ate it faster than I've ever eaten one of those pops (I eat them painfully slow). 

I don't really know how to say goodbye to Pete, Mary, Sina, the Hyppo, this blog, or St. Augustine. So I just won't.

I'll leave it open ended, I may post more, I may not. But I will, for sure, go back to St. Augustine, go back to my secret life as explorer, venturer, and observer. I will also try to take what I learned and always remember my month away.

I love everyone always,

Sarah